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Continue reading “PAINTING WITH BLOOD by; (Nijagoldz)James Cuellar”
Growing up: Madison school, kindergarten;
Five years old, first day of school, standing in line by the door waiting for the teacher to let us in. Sunny, warm, feeling so small compared to others my age. Uncertain what to expect next.
When suddenly this big kid turns toward me and kicks me in the right testicle. I was so scared, not knowing what to do, just scared and in so much pain, crying silently, tears running off my cheeks. Finally, the door opened, and a teacher spotted me right away and asked what was wrong. All I could do was cry. Immediately, the teacher guided me inside, and she soon found out I had a sister in sixth grade. The teacher took me to my sister`s room, and I was so happy to see her.
Classes had just started so after a brief comfort by my teacher and sister, they managed to appease me, and off I went back to my room .Like A ship in the sea,i felt vulnerable seeing a storm approaching toward my small and weak body everyone looked like giants. What will happen to me next i wondered.Well as the hour wore off, I was still in my desk with a crayon in my hand, aLive and breathing. I took focus off myself and focused on my coloring.
I have more to type: About me, My Family, so we are seven siblings,
a nephew that we raised, I am the only one left of the boys, my oldest sister
and my youngest sister, plus myself, are just three of us left in my family
We were born poor, and my father and mother worked to keep us fed and clothed
But now they, too, have gone to be with the Lord. Right now, I am trying
To write my story, so much has happened in my life, and I almost don’t have a clue as to where to begin. So, while I was sitting there on my desk with a beautiful set of colored crayons, actually, I could smell the colors so vividly. So I saw this blank piece of drawing paper in front of me that made me want to create something. emediately my mind went from being vulnerable to a new thing for a new five-year-old in school. what I drew, can`t remember, but I knew I was experiencing a new world, an exciting world I’ve never known was here. After school, I got on a bus, and we always took the long way home as they dropped off children who lived in the countryside. I loved sitting in that bus, because a new world unfolded before my eyes.
Finally getting home, so excited about what I experienced on my first day of school,
As I entered the front door, my sister, beside me, told my Mother all that transpired
concerning my first day of school. But one thing is for sure, I began to enjoy riding in the bus, not only with friends I made during recesses, but also with my oldest sister, who was in sixth grade, and my oldest brother, who had lots of friends. We rode the bus together, and my brother’s friends would give me sticks of gum. Double mint gum, spearmint gum, and juicy fruit gum. My days on the bus were adventurous
, However, soon my adventures would come to a halt for now. My father announced we would soon be moving to some projects, which meant a change to a new school. I can`t remember which came first, because I remember playing in a gravel hill and sand hills, they called them piles because it was where I was going to be going to school, which was under construction. We did move to a small house in the boondocks, they called it. So when summer was over, the school was completed. Not thinking much of it, I was one of many children who were the first to attend this beautiful new school. when after my start in second grade, we finally moved again to the projects.
In the projects, I made many friends. There was a small store near by on our way to school
Any time I managed to get a few pennies there, I would buy some small balls of gum, so before I reached the school, I had already had my mouth full of those small balls of gum.
But one day, as we ventured outside the back of the school, I noticed these rocks that just screamed to be collected, then as I ventured further,n I noticed some rocks that had sea shells embedded in them. Later, my teacher had an idea of giving me the privilege to become the president of a science club.
Now that really sparked the enthusiasm in me to become an adventurous person in the sciences. Every Wednesday, once a week, I would have a science meeting, and I became the speaker, and so some days I would study the solar system while other days I managed to use the chalkboard to give lectures on bugs, and the planets in our universe. My teacher would bring Cool-Aid and cookies to our Wednesday meets, and our school principal was delighted with the things we were doing in class. More teachers joined us in those meetings.
Even the principal joined in my lectures, so it went on until the days of second grade ended. Winter is now arriving we still live in the projects. After our summer vacation, I was excited about going back to school. My first day back, I had to familiarize myself with new friends as well as old ones. Only this time, I met my first friend, who was Hispanic and had just arrived from Texas. He was a very nice boy, we were both like-minded, only he was more into drawing; his hobby was drawing. I saw his drawings, I too was intrigued, so we both sketched and compared our drawings. So, one day, my teacher took a glance over our shoulders, both sitting next to each other. My friend and I looked at each other with guilt-ridden faces, knowing full well we should have been working on our school assignment. She admonished both of us and told us we had to finish our assignments first, and when we had time, we could do artwork. From that day on, we also worked with clay making animals, and whatever we thought of. My Teacher started to put up our artwork on display in the school’s hallway. I was so happy and felt very accomplished. As always, the only drawing we could do was when we had the teacher’s permission. So, now that winter is just starting, we will see a lot of snow. My oldest brother louie, had a dog that always followed him to school, and he was so protective of my brother that, one day, Louie and a bunch of other neighboring kids were out in the field, and I could see them from my front window. I could hear our dog Shadow barking where he was chained up. I went to see if he was ok while my brother was in a fight in the field. Shadow kept trying to break loose, when suddenly he did break the chain and jetted out into the field where my brother was fighting, and the fighting ended very quickly as my brother took hold of Shadow so that he would not attack his opponent. That was all it took; we ended the day with praise to Shadow. However, one day, as usual, when he would follow Louie to school and would wait for him til Louie would come out, but on this day, Louie didn`t see shadow waiting for him.
So weeks and a couple of months passed, and noone knew where shadow was. one day, we stayed home from school because of the blizzard, we were having like a whiteout, and we could only see so much, and while I was kneeling on the couch looking out the window, I saw movement in the snow across the street beside another building, I began to make out in the blurry, gusty atmosphere this form what looked like a dog, he looked very tired and weak head was hanging down and he was barely making his way across the street. I suddenly recognized him; it was our dog, Shadow, I screamed to the other siblings and told them Shadow was out there coming home. My brother Louie ran out the door, and you could feel the excitement between those two. Louie picked Shadow up into his arms and came in with eyes full of joyful tears.
With winter now in full force at the end of this snowstorm, we received a warm spell, but not without another cold before it warmed up. The ice was very thick; everything on this ice looked like a blanket of solid glass. Again, we spent another day at home from school. We mostly spent our time sliding on this ice. As time passed, we finally got a warmup, but not so fast, as we walked to school, my brothers and our younger sister walking on melting snow. It was wet, and there was some ice in some areas of the walkways, but we were careful, and my brothers and sister went ahead as we arrived at school. I was the last one in, but as I stepped on the cement platform of the entrance to the school, I slipped and fell hard on my face on the very edge of the cement platform as a result, busting my lips cut right open. I was so scared, seeing all the blood on my coat, hands, and all over the walkway. Someone saw everything and called my teacher outside to care for me. She was a very caring and loving teacher. Her name was miss hocho very young and well built. very pretty. She quickly attended to my injuries, since we had not started class yet, she was with me, she sat beside me on the first aid bed, she was looking into my eyes, and I remember her gentle smile, my eyes were still filled with tears
When she said to me in a whispering voice, saying how beautiful my brown eyes were. My dad finally came and took me home. but I can`t remember whether he took me to see the DR. or what?.
MY GRIEVING LOSS
The Blood Of Jesaus
BRINGING JOY AT THE END.
(BRINGING JOY, AT THE END) by James Cuellar
The night has passed into the next new day
Bringing Joy I hoped- along the way.
I walk into the living room floor.
To check for daily news outside the front door.
on the way back I stopped at my pc
turned the world on to view what I could see
What is this? I see on my page?
Something new happening
Bout, the new World Age.
How can this be? I ask myself
All that is left, as I could see- but not so well.
Soldiers marching on our street
What has arrived here is called hell
Once was said that
Someday soon,
We would have a new world order, was
Confirmed this late afternoon.
Frightening scenes-guns on the street,
Both large and small holding tight in arms
Soldiers, marching to the beat.
The sounds grew louder near our house
A commander with a horn begins to shout.
Come out to the streets you are no longer free!
Busting down doors with violent extremes
My bones rattled and my kids were so scared
Hard times have started, we could not live there
We knew this was coming; but not on our time
How quickly this happened without an alarm.
Thousands of people all single file
Marching somewhere it was only a mile.
Orders came in to strip off our clothes
given a suit and watched a cell door close.
One by one hand stretched out,
I saw this soldier dressed as a scout.
Placing numbers and shouting 666
The sound reminded me, I felt so sick.
We did not see it coming not one bit
But ah so sudden we got hit.
Soon right after this had taken place
Sudden lightening came from space;
With a loud shout and a horn blowing loud
All God’s children disappear into the cloud.
MY GRIEVING LOSS
My grieving Loss
As I look at you once, then twice, my eyes would expose the past and painful years. Many days and nights I wondered, would I see her again? Nothing has been more painful than to lose someone so dear, because of my crushing demise, now lies a wall of hate, to be carried forever was more of a mistake. I can not see the pain you have endured when they told you lies and manipulated you. They would tell you what to say, poisoning your mind and making you believe lies even to this day. When they would say things about me, and for you to stay away. All I remember, and God knows the truth, I have always cared for you with love and concern. You cried so much when in my care, I can remember how you acted out, from something that happened back there. Your innocent ears were full of verbal shouts. When they would visit the innocent, they appeared. As though nothing was wrong, their eyes would reveal they were filled with tears. Something was wrong; I knew from my heart that something bad had occurred. While you were with them, they did not hide those moments of rage flashing before your eyes. They fought and fought, and you learned those ways, language so bad that it filled the airwaves, from those you counted on even to this day. Then you would act out those moments of rage while you were at play. You couldn’t express your pain in any other way. So you would cry through the motions you learned and act them out. That was how you would say, “ My daddy and mommy had a fight yesterday. I was scared and confused, I felt all alone, -why are they fighting? Please leave each other alone,”. Your pain would resurface when you were at play, when they left you alone in my care. One day, you looked so precious and innocent with your baby hair so yellow gold, the wind gently blowing your hair through the sun rays to make it glow. While playing in your castle, you had a burst of rage, something a child would not do at two years of age. You would act out by throwing lawn chairs around, and looking toward me, you told me something awful with an eerie sound. Pain in my heart was all I could feel, all this from a child so close so dear, I knew deep inside me from what I saw, she picked up the actions that only parents portray, she filled her head with lies about me, that resounds to this day. By one who gave birth to this innocent child, who knew no curse nor people so vile. Now becoming a scapegoat for her own wicked ways, against those who love the child so dear, to this day. Disregarding the times we shared our home with her, we showed and gave nothing but love for this baby and her. But now I am a scapegoat for her to use. Over everyone she has come to despise. Now this child continues, still in her silence, suffering the abuse.
kjv. Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world,
against spiritual wickedness in high places.
ABOUT, THE STORY: THE PURPOSE IS TO GLORIFY GOD, AND NOT THE DEVIL.
The story I am working on has a theme of a thriller, a mystery, a horror story and a smidgen of romance, but what I intended it to be was the realities of hidden motive behind the created myths, and folklore; concerning characters, and story lines that only say depicts the worlds view of fantasy imaginations. Quite frankly, they are half-truths, and the underlying catalyst of a horror story is buried beneath all the excitement and thrills with the fear they convey to the reader or viewer; I read somewhere that people are addicted to fear, and the media tries to invoke it in their stories or novels. I am reminded of one true story that originated in Chicago Illinois, about a small boy was possessed by a demon; the movie that the media presented was this. The exorcist. You would see a catholic priest trying to perform exorcisms but had many failed attempts, then no wonder, it is no surprise to me for obvious reasons. This was a true story, and the media only depicts the scary scenes, and how the devil manifested itself during visits from the priest when dealing with the possessed boy. The word of God warns us that we should never attempt to contact familiar spirits, and for good reason I believe that is what real live ghost hunters of our day are doing. The devil is a liar and is crafty in making people believe that the deceased love one is still here and can be contacted by mediums and other spiritual mediums such as séances etc. now with that said. Here we have a story written in the same manner as those other stories they write about folklore characters such the movie, the wolf man created in the early 1920s and 30s, and then there is the story of count Dracula, which they created by the early 1400s the then known ruler Vladimir Tepe , In the province of walachia, in the country of Romania, In which he impaled his captured victims, those times were very violent, and Vladimir became feared by many of the people in those days as he was a very ruthless murderer, the media borrowed from that character and produced what we now call Count Dracula. Not too far fetched, not to me, knowing what God has taught about such evil presence in our world today. Many people are fooled today by those ghost hunters and what they capture on voice recorders, the devils responding to them pretending they are a certain person trapped in a gulf between Earth and the heavens. My story lends itself to the spiritual, more than the worldviews. How the evil spirit inhabits the human body, and how the battle is prepared to fight these evil spirits, and only if you are a spirit filled Christian, and filled with Jesus. (Born Again). And how God intervenes in this action filled thriller. I have to knowledge never before read a Novel, consisting of a deity as a hero. Please, I encourage you to read my story and enjoy.
MY THOUGHTS: The soul wants to express itself, we write to put into words what the soul needs to convey to the world. There must be change in the things that hinder one. Continuing to repeat the self defeating habits will result in failure in all your attempted efforts. We, also must never be afraid to fail, for it is how we learn what will work, or what will not work. For instance; When I write, my story without having to worry about editing. When we stop to edit during writing, in every sentence; Then we lose the rhythm of the story, and lose our train of thought. Because you are worried about getting your words just right. When I did this, trying to edit every sentence. I found that I lost my train of thought, I couldn’t find how to continue where I left off. I had lost my train of thought. So I started all over again. I learned from my mistakes. Now I keep my line of thought. I got further into the plot. Also, When I reached the climax stage, I was more conditioned to continue my story. With out the annoying habit of stopping at every sentence to edit my story.
Writing to create your world for self enjoyment and peace of mind, to get out of the boring and chaotic world around us. It is not the only way, to deal with what is daily a negative impact on our lives. It is only one way; But you are having fun doing what you love doing. So we view photos of serene moments in time, Wishing you could feel the peacefulness of the pure white driven snow; With it`s magical presence and surrounding silence; As it settles in your heart and inside of you begins to glow.
POETIC WRITINGS Love Of The Arts 